1.
. Asalaam Aleikum,
My question concerns the Niqab. I have read all of your other posts regarding the
topic. For about a month now, I've been seriously considering wearing the
niqaab( I've done it a few times except to school and work) and my main issue
is not that I'm ready or I'm second guessing but it's more due to my family and other surroundings.
I've also always had a issue with being "externally religious" so as
not to make others feel uncomfortable, i.e, pausing a conversation to make
salat or waking up a sibling/parent/friend to pray. I don't want them to feel
as if I'm unrelate-able or on a different level than them, which I've seen
happen to other people. I've been wearing the scarf for a couple of
years now and that started the same way. I would wear it anywhere I didn't
think I'd run into a family/community member but it got to stressful so I just
did it all the time and it went well. Then last year, I did the same with my
abaya. I wore it to school (I'm a senior in university) and work but now I wear
it all the time. People
are constantly telling my mum to watch out for who I'm hanging out with etc,
etc, because I might become too extreme. She also kind of agrees and
thinks that I should just wear "normal" clothes. A few weeks
ago someone who knows my mom saw me in niqab(idk how they knew it was me) and
told me mum. Who called me and gave me a mini lecture about not being too
extreme. I'm very
comfortable in my mode of dress but I begin to dread family functions because
someone is bound to make a negative/sarcastic comment and I usually just smile
in return but it still makes me sad. Part of the issue I guess is that
my family and the majority of my community(especially since we're in America),
while they might pray, fast, dhikr, etc, view aspects of the deen especially hijab as a cultural Arab/Desi thing and that's pretty much what I thought
while growing up too. I've grown up in this community my entire life, most of
the families were friends/relatives from back home so it's hard to just ignore
them because even if I do, they still get to my mum. I'd really like to wear
niqab because I feel like it makes sense. I mean, if I cover my body, why should I not also cover my face
which is the place where most look to in regards of beauty. Besides the
family thing, I don't want to be classified as the "extreme" or
religious one. Though, I don't think those are bad, the way people say them,
invoke negativity. I already get insulted/talked negatively about because of my
opinions in regards to gender-interactions, parties, zabiha etc so part of me
feels that by not wearing niqab people can still relate to me but once I put it
on permanently...I'll
always be "that girl" and my opinions will no longer matter because
it will always be followed by "well, she wears niqab so she's obviously
strict." I am also very involved in the community, i.e running the halaqas for the younger girls and I
worry that parents might not let their children attend if they think I'm
extreme. I'm actually the only person not married/under 30 at my masjid who
wears any form of hijab and people are always quick to use this against me.
I've pretty much resulted in not giving my opinion on any matters unless they
directly ask me because they tend to twist it in a way that I look bad or uppity. Sorry for the super long message
Assalamualaikum wa
rahmatulahi wa barakatu dearest sister in Islam!!! <3
Firstly,
please, please, please do not
apologize for asking such an important question that I know many other sisters
are looking for an answer to. Insha’Allah your question will help many other
Muslimahs who are struggling with the same issue. I pray that I will be able to
give you sound advice to the best of my ability, by the permission of Allah. I sincerley admire your dedication and
strength to please Allah and Him alone. In today’s society, many people leave
their religion for the worldly life but Masha’Allah you are fighting to hold
onto it. May Allah make it easy for you and continue to keep you steadfast and
upright on al-Haq al Islam. Ameen!
And now...to get to your question :)
I want to start off
with a few Hadith and verses from the Qur’an about the importance of obeying
Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala.
"The only saying of the faithful believers, when they are
called to Allāh (His Words, the Quran) and His Messenger (Sallallāhu 'alayhi wa
sallam), to judge between them, is that they say: "We hear and we obey." And such are the successful (who will live forever in
Paradise). And whosoever obeys
Allāh and His Messenger (Sallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam), fears Allāh, and keeps
his duty (to Him), such are the successful ones.” [An-Nur, 24: 51-52]
And I (Allaah)
created not the jinns and humans except they should worship Me (Alone). (Ad-Dhariyat 51:56)
You see, sis, whatever religious duty you do has nothing to do with others. Don't think of the duty in terms of creation, but think of WHO you are doing it for. It's not about being on a different level from a sister, parent or friend. Instead, it is all about YOU and your relationship with Allah.
And the reality is this: anything from Islam, and the commands of Allah, are
NOT to be taken as cultural or traditional practices.
Islam is a way of life,
and our duty as a servant of Allah is to worship Him with no partners, to obey
His commands, and to follow the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (sallalahu
aleyhi wasselam.)
Observing the five pillars of Islam is absolutely obligatory
upon us and that is what distinguishes us apart from the non-Muslims. In
addition, we are to obey Allah and observe His commands about modesty, carry
good character and etiquette and to respect our parents. However, if our
parents are discouraging us from practicing something that is obligatory in
Islam, or to even abandon something obligatory, we should not obey them. Our love for our parents does not exceed the love we have for Allah
Subhanahu wa ta’ala. Nothing comes before Allah.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no
obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience towards the
Creator.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4340; Muslim, 1840; Ahmad, 1098.
Not to go on a little rant here, but unfortunately,
the society we live in today has become brainwashed by the media where “normal
clothes” is considered as tight, skinny denim, fitted hoodies and a hijab that
covers the hair with ears and earrings are exposed. The modern women in today's society has become more of a hot commodity, rather than an actual human being with a brain. The modern women of today has designers and producers speaking for them instead of them having a say in anything! These women have become oppressed by the media and they don't even have a clue!
Modesty is
becoming extinct day by day. Masha’Allah dearest sister, I commend you for your
courage in adopting the proper Islamic dress despite all the negative reactions
you are receiving from your family. It is definitely not easy when you are
being treated like a criminal or an “extremist” because of the way you dress.
Many Muslim families believe that the hijab is not mandatory and just a
“cultural” tradition which their forefathers brought before them, but this is
not true as it is mentioned in the Qur’an that hijab for women is mandatory.
Allah says in the
Qur’an:
‘[This is] a surah which We
have sent down and made [that within it] obligatory and revealed
therein verses of clear evidence that you might remember.’ (24:1)
Allah
mentions to us that the verses in this Surah are sent down as obligatory acts
which must be followed, and this following verse is mentioned in the exact same
Surah, which means that adopting hijab and covering our adornments is
obligatory upon the believing Muslim.
“And say to the believing women that they should lower their
gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display
their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear therof;
that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their
beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers,
their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, or their brothers' sons or
their sisters' sons, or their women or the servants whom their right hands
possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no
sense of the shame of sex, and that they should not strike their feet in
order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O you Believers, turn you all together towards Allah,
that you may attain Bliss.” (Quran 24:31)
As we can see, proper hijab where a person "covers" their beauty and adornmanets was ordained by Allah.
Does it matter then what the people around us think?
Or does it matter what Allah thinks?
I know it's hard sister, especially because you are not surrounded by sisters or family members who feel the same way about modesty. But the reality, is that you are at a
true advantage dear sister. The only ‘trend’ that needs to be set in today’s
society is the proper Islamic dress and that ‘trend’ can only start with those
who fear Allah and obey His every command. You are a trend setter, a pioneer, an ambassador calling others to modesty and to what Allah wants. In fact, the fact that you are singled out
because of the way you dress and your other opinions on zabiha and so forth is a true sign of iman, inshaAllah (May Allah keep your heart
fastened onto His deen! Ameen) and that you are living your life truly for the
sake of Allah.
Remember the true believer in this dunya will always feel out of
place and like a stranger but there is nothing wrong with this, in fact, glad
tidings are given to the stranger!
Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Islam
initiated as something strange, and it will revert to its (old position) of
being strange. So, glad tidings to the stranger!” [Muslim]
The
Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said:
“The world is the
believer’s prison and the disbeliever’s Paradise”
Muslim and Tirmidhi from
the narration of Abu Hurayrah and Ahmad from the narration of ‘Abd Allah b.
‘Amru b. Ziyad
Also
remember Allah says in the Qur’an to His believing slaves:
“Do the people think
that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be
tried?” (29:1)
“Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such
(trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with
severe poverty and ailments, and were so shaken that even the Messenger and
those who believed along with him said, "When (will come) the Help of
Allaah?" Yes! Certainly, the Help of Allaah is near!” (Al-Baqarah 2:214)
So you see, we will always be faced with
difficulties and hurdles in this life when we obey Allah, this is to show Him
if our sincerity with the deen is true. What you have to do is continue to remain patient and treat
your family and peers with respect and good manners, stay strong with yourself
and always say Alhamdulilah for every situation, for "Indeed amazing
is the affair of the mu`min (believer). And this is not for anyone
except the believer. If he is given something good, he is thankful, and this is
good for him. And if he is afflicted with a hardship, then he is patient, and
it is good for him." [Sahih
Muslim]:
Now, as to answer your question regarding Niqab,
I am not a scholar and it would be very dangerous for me to issue fatwas
because I am not qualified to do so. I am just another one of your sisters in Islam who love you for the sake of Allah, so all I can give you is my own opinion based on how I would handle the situation (according to
the Qur’an and Sunnah). There are many hadith about modesty, for example:
Mu'adh bin Anas radiallahu anhu reported: Messenger of Allah
Sallalahu aleyhi wasselam said, "Whoever gives up wearing elegant and
expensive garments out of humbleness, when he can do so, Allah will call him on
the Day of Resurrection and before all the creations, He will give him the
choice to wear whichever garment of IMAN he would like to wear."
(At-Tirmidhi, Chapter 120. #802 pg 666 Riyah us-Saliheen"excellence of
giving up elegant clothes for HUMILITY")
Upon the authority of Anas Ibn Maalik – Radhiyallahu ‘anhu – who
said that the Messenger of Allah – Sallallahu alaihi Was Salam – Said: “..If
a woman from the women of Jannah were to appear in this world, that which is
between (the heavens and the earth) would be filled with her (beautiful) fragrance.
And they would illuminate that which is between the heavens and the earth. The
scarf that is on her head is better than the world and that which is upon it!”
(Collected By Tirmidhi (1651) and declared ‘Saheeh’ by Shaikh Al Albaani in
Saheeh Sunan At Tirmidhi)
"In later
(generations) of my ummah there will be women who will be dressed but naked. On
top of their heads (what looks) like camel humps. They will not enter into
paradise or (even) get a smell of it." (Muslim)
If they are
reluctant to follow the many given proofs from the Qur’an and Sunnah then I encourage you to continue to show your family
that Islam is a way of life and not just a cultural practice. It is your duty
to encourage them to pray on time, and to take modesty seriously.
If the idea
of Niqab overwhelms them and it will result in them kicking you out of the home
or disowning you, then perhaps you should seek help through patience and prayer
and ask Allah to make things easier for you. Also, to pray Istikharah if it is
a good idea for you to adopt the Niqab due to the current situation you are in.
Praying Istikharah (consistently) is always my best advice to sisters, mainly because we are
human beings, and our knowledge and wisdom is so limited. Allah knows the
answers that we do not, and I could give you my opinion and advice but what
really matters is our Creator because He knows best. So my wonderful dear
sister, I commend you again for your courage and your strong iman masha’Allah (
May Allah preserve it and keep you strong on His deen ) but if the Niqab will
cause more problems for you in your current situation, then make Istikharah,
asking Allah if it is good for your deen then to make wearing the niqab easier,
and if not then He will show you either way.
As for the halaqah issue, will you be holding them with your niqab on? Or will be there be a women's only section? If there will be a women's only section, you don't actually have to wear your niqab in front of the children (unless you fear that non-mahram will see you). And even if you do have to for some reason, that doesn't mean that the parents will refuse to let their children attend with you. Just having friendly attitude is bound to win them over. Also, you can make a brochure with what you are hoping to cover in the halaqahs and invite the moms to see.
As much as possible, use this opportunity to your advantage for this will be a great chance for you to share the beauty of Islam through your akhlaq, and through the beautiful teaching of Rasulullah (sallalahu aleyhi wasselam), and to teach the younger children about modesty and why it is important in a society like today.
The future starts with our youth, and if you can set a good example for them in a gentle, well-mannered way, insha'Allah it will also make the elders understand as well the importance of modesty and the beauty of Islam! Continue to stay patient and make
plenty of duaa and continue to lead by example through good manners and kind treatment
towards your family and friends. Insha’Allah they will come through slowly and maybe they
will even adopt the niqab one day!
Always stay positive and enthusiastic, and remember Allah does
not burden us with more than we can bear! Allahu Akbar! If you ever want to give your opinion on a subject (to family, or friends etc) make sure you have proof from the Qur'an and Sunnah with you, so if anyone ever twists your words or puts words in your mouth, you will have proof to back up your claim. Nothing in Islam is forced upon anyone, and remember Islam is made
to be easy for us and we should always be moderate with everything and never be too excessive as mentioned in this Hadith:
145.
Narrated by Abu Hurayra (radiallahu anhu) reported that the Prophet ,may Allah
bless him and grant him peace, said, "The deen is easy. Anyone who makes
the deen too hard on himself will find it becomes too much for him. So aim for
what is right, follow a middle path, accept the good news of the reward for
right action, and seek help [to reach your goal by being constant in
worshipping] in the morning, evening and some of the night."[al-Bukhari]
Also remember, nobody will save us on the day of Judgement except Allah and His mercy ! Our family and friends will not intercede on behalf of us, so we must always remember to focus on earning rewards for the Akhirah and not the dunya! The opinions of others will not matter on The Day of Judgement so we should not focus too much on what others think about us while we are in this dunya! Here are some chilling reminders about The Last Day:
"O mankind, fear your Lord and fear a Day when no father will avail his son, nor will a son avail his father at all. Indeed, the promise of Allah is truth, so let not the worldly life delude you and be not deceived about Allah by the Deceiver." (31:33)
"And no burdened soul will carry another soul’s burden; and if a burdened soul calls another to share the burden, no one will carry any part of it, even if he is a close relative; O dear Prophet (Mohammed – peace and blessings be upon him), your warning only benefits those who fear their Lord without seeing and who keep the prayer established; and whoever cleansed himself, has cleansed for his own benefit; and towards Allah only is the return." [35:18]
"At last, when the deafening blast is sounded, that Day will man flee from his brother and his mother and his father and his wife and his children. Each one of them, on that Day, will have enough to occupy him so as to make him heedless of others. Some faces on that Day shall be shining, rejoicing and joyful. And some faces on that Day shall be dusty, and darkness shall be covering them. These will be the disbelievers and the sinners." (80: 33-42)
So continue to be obedient to Allah and excel in your deen and always strive to attain more knowledge from our pious predecessors so that you may educate yourself and put into practice what you learn, and insha'Allah your good actions will reflect upon others around you. I also wanted to extend out my support to you and if you need to talk to someone privately you can alwayas e-mail me at onechinesemuslimah@gmail.com ! May Allah keep us all steadfast upon al-haq al- Islam and may He give us the taufiq to revive the Sunnah a day at a time, for His sake and His alone. AMEEN! <3<3<3
