That Time of the Month and Ramadan...

>> Sunday, August 22, 2010



Apu (sister)...do u knw...wht exactly we can do when we go through our period during ramadan....as we cant do prayer,fast,recite Quran....thn wht shud we do?

- Don’t Want to Miss out on Ramadan

Dear Don’t Want to Miss out on Ramadan,

You have asked a really great question! This question actually reminds me of our mother Aisha Radiya Allah Anha, and you’ll see why in a few moments. But first, let me just say that you may have noticed some of the suggestions we offered the last questioner, like dua, dhikr, charity, and listening to lectures. Those are all things that you can try doing, as well. You can also listen to Qur’an and recite the parts that you have memorized.

But the fundamental thing that you can do is truly worship Allah with your heart.

How? And what do we mean by worship Allah by your heart? Well, for one thing, I heard a daee (by the name Amr, but not the famous Amr Khaled, lol) say, the ‘Biggest thing women can do when they have their periods is be content with Allah’s decree’. What does that mean?

It means- don't hate your period or hate not fasting because it is Allah Subhanoo Wa' Tala who decreed that.

When you complain about your period, you’re suggesting that
a) you’re not satisfied with what Allah has ordained.
Narrated Al-Qasim:

'Aisha Radyia Allah Anha said, "We set out with the sole intention of performing Hajj and when we reached Sarif, (a place six miles from Mecca) I got my menses. Allah's Apostle came to me while I was weeping. He said 'What is the matter with you? Have you got your menses?' I replied, 'Yes.' He said, 'This is a thing which Allah has ordained for the daughters of Adam…

b) you think Allah is going to somehow be unfair to you and not give you as much as a reward as you deserve/want to earn…

Of course not! Allah Suhbanoo wa’ Tala isn’t trying to make you lose points. And He is, never not fair! Haven’t we heard of this hadith?

Abdullah Bin 'Amr reported that the Prophet said: "No (believing) person gets sick, but (his deeds) will be recorded for him in accordance with what he used to do when he was well." [Bukharee]

So wait, am I saying that’s what happens when we get our periods? No, I don’t know if that’s what happens, but I do know that the One who placed such a fair and just method of recording our deeds (actually such a merciful one) has surely placed a fair one for us women.

Besides, we DO know that our actions are by our intentions. If in the beginning of the month, you truly intended to pray taraweeh the whole month and finish reading the whole Qur’an, you’re going to get what you intended, inshaAllah!

We also for sure know this hadith:
Abu Sa'eed al-Khudree (Radiya Allah Anhoo) reported that the Prophet (Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said: "A Muslim is not afflicted by hardship, sickness, sadness, worry, harm, or depression - even if pricked by a thorn, but Allah expiates his sins because of that. "

[Bukharee and Muslim]
For all you know, enduring a few painful cramps with patience may raise your ranks much more than praying a few rakahs.

Not only that, but when you truly feel at peace with His decision, you will be able to truly be pleased with Him as your Lord. And instead of concentrating on what has prevented you from praying -your period-, you'll be able to concentrate on WHO you pray to and fast to, in the first place. You'll be able to truly draw closer to Him.

The next ‘worship of the heart’ is to keep concentrating on your intentions. Every act you do, let your intention be for The Sublime in your head (and heart!). If you help your mother cook iftar or suhoor, you can let your intention be that you’re trying to help your mother and helping to feed a fasting person! (Remember, if you ‘feed a fasting person, you’ll get the reward as if you fasted!)

If you have a younger sibling, you could even try bringing an extra special box of chocolates. I’m sure it would make them really happy. You see, we ‘belittle’ these kinda deeds but they are in the sight of Allah very great:

The Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said: "The most loved people to Allah are the most beneficial, the most loved deeds to Allah the Exalted are making a Muslim happy, revealing his sorrow, paying his debt, or revealing his hunger, and that I'd prefer to help my Muslim brother who is in need of something than staying in this mosque for praying (I'tikaf) for a month…”


I personally would suggest you could set yourself a target to do at least 5 good deeds like these a day. And don’t just ‘set them’. Try to complete these 5, lol. We’ve already said that you could help out with the iftar…what about offering to do the dishes afterwards? Cleaning the car? Doing some of your parents' or siiblings' chores? What about helping a friend in need. It could even be making a Thank You card for your Mum!

Another thing you could do is ‘babysit’! You know how many Muslim women out there who don’t go to the mosque because they don’t want their kids to irritate the people praying? How about since you can’t exactly go there, you give them a chance and offer to take care of their kids for them?

It could even be a smile at the grumpy old lady across the street.

Whatever it is, if you're intention for doing these things are only for Allah, then you'll be remembering why you're doing it and having this constant thought in your mind will, inshaAllah, bring you closer to Allah.

Besides ‘the heart worship’, you can also take this time to study Islam! Read the stories of the prophets and then try explaining them to someone else. Find out the stories of the Prophet’s wives. Read the tafsir of the Qur’an. Organize a halaqah with some other sisters and share some of the knowledge you have learned.

Keep yourself busy in productive ways, check out: www.productiveramadan.com

Oh and one very simple thing you can do but that will yield you tremendous reward is to make dua that Allah forgives all the Muslims. In this way, you will get good deeds for every single Muslim in the world.



Lastly, please remember that a 'break from fasting’,' isn't a break from Ramadan...so also, continue to avoid watching bad shows, etc!

So smile, hon! There's no reason to worry about 'missing out on Ramadan'...


                                                                  and

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Not Feelin' Ramadan

>> Wednesday, August 18, 2010


You see, I have a little problem. With Ramadan here I feel the need to strive to increase my Imaan. But, even with all the good deeds I do I still feel that I'm coming up a bit...short. I do fast, pray (including Taraweeh and Inshallah Tahajjud), and read Quran...well some days but I do listen to some everyday, I make dhikr, and I try my best to please my Lord. And yet I continually feel that what I'm doing isn't good enough, and I know its not Shaytan putting thoughts in my head since he's gone for the month. So right now I'm wondering what could I do to get out of this little slump.

Sincerely,
A Little Confused Girl


Wa’alykum as salam wa rahmat Allah wa barkatoo, Dearest A Little Confused Girl,

I know what you mean! This Ramadan has been going really extremely fast for me and I feel nowhere near the ‘level’ I wanted to ‘get’ at yet. But, I want to congratulate you! That you refuse to accept the level that you are now and that you want to make the best of Ramadan and that you went so far as to send in this question….I think inshaAllah you might just have your best Ramadan yet!

First though, a little explanation as to why you might be feeling this way…You know what I think it is? I think it’s because most of us count on Ramadan to get our yearly imaan boost. We think of Ramadan as our recharager that’s going to get us through the year….

But we really should see it in the opposite way. We should see ‘the rest of the year’ as our charger that will help us in Ramadan, when it’s time to unplug everything.

Why? Because our hearts are lot like our stomachs. They feed on whatever WE give them- whether it’s good for them or not.

The problem?

Well, that many of us have been feeding them a lot of junk food throughout the year and very little ‘good stuff’. I’m not sure if it’s the case with you or not, but because many of us don’t give ourselves daily doses of Qur’an, dhikr, etc throughout the year, when Ramadan comes, our hearts are like- woaaaaah. They’re not ready for this sudden change/diet.

It’s like what this one da’ee (Mustafa Hosny) once said: “Our hearts don’t come with a khushoo switch on. We can’t be like –ok, now’s time for khushoo.” It unfortunately doesn’t really work that way .....even in Ramadan.

So is that all I have to say? We should have done this stuff during the year?

Nah, of course not!

There’s still a lot you can do and still a huge chance that this Ramadan will be the Ramadan to set you free from the Hellfire…because all you need is one of your tears to shed…one glance from Allah…one minute where your heart truly yearns to win His pleasure and be saved from His fire….

You’ve still got time, so let’s do this!

1. Talk to Allah!

Dua is so important! (You didn’t mention it in your list, so I’m not sure if you’ve been doing that or not. Remember, the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam called “Dua worship”.)

There are a lot of things you can make dua for- one thing you can do is ask Allah to forgive you for the sins you have committed. Seriously sit down for a little bit and think about all that you have done- not just this month/this year…I mean years back.

If you can’t remember your sins, reflect on this verse:

On the Day when Allah will resurrect them all and inform them of what they did. Allah had enumerated it, while they forgot it; and Allah is, over all things, Witness. (58:6)

Although this verse was revealed within the context of the disbeliever’s fate, it’s still a good idea to reflect on the fact that Allah Subhanoo Wa’ Tala was with you your whole life- and He knows everything you did and everything your heart ever ‘thought’ about!

Here are some other ideas, too.

Ask Him to let you witness Laytul Qadr! Remember, it’s not promised to you! You don’t want to miss that night, so ask Him that you live to see that night and that you utilize it in the best way possible
Be Honest with Him. Maybe you miss feeling close to Him or miss even ‘missing’ Him- tell Him that. Ask Him to bring you closer to Him.
What if you were to die not a Muslim? You don’t want that, right? Whatever you don’t want, ask Allah to protect you from.

And when you come to ask for jannah, be sincere! I want you to visualize it. I mean really and truly- sit down and think about all the greatest things ever .What is it that you want? Do you want a castle? Is there any Companion that you want to meet? What about the Prophet’s Wives? What about sitting with the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam, himself?

Now, don’t just dream about it. Ask Allah for it!

The next thing you gotta do is--

2. Listen to Allah

You said that read the Qur’an some days and listen every day. Girlie, you got to read it every day [that you can]! Listening is great but when you listen, your mind can easily get distracted. When you’re reading, you might pay more attention (but this however, does depend on your personality)…

In either case, whether you choose to listen or read, I want you to approach the Qur’an not just as a ‘book’ to read, but as a timeless guide meant to help YOU personally in your life. One way to do this is to work with the A&A method…Its’ basically ASK& ANSWER.

What you do is *you guessed it*- ‘ask’ yourself questions:

General examples: What is this verse referring to? What is this story? How can I relate that to my daily life? What can I learn from this chapter? Do I have those characteristics? Wait, this verse says ‘Allah loves’- who are the ones that Allah loves? Let me do a search on that and list them…

Specific examples:

  • Who are the people of Al’Araf? Is it possible you’re heading in that direction?
  • How come this verse tells the Believers to believe: O you who have believed, believe in Allah and His Messenger and the Book that He sent down upon His Messenger and the Scripture which He sent down before. And whoever disbelieves in Allah, His angels, His books, His messengers, and the Last Day has certainly gone far astray. (Surat Al Nisa: 136)

But we’re still not done, yet! The ASK and ANSWER method also implies that you take a look at the Qur’an as the book of answers. It’s got everything you need to know. So each verse you read could also be taken as an answer to something…..it’s your job to figure out what could this answer. You need to figure out the question!

For example:
Say, "Not equal are the evil and the good, although the abundance of evil might impress you." So fear Allah, O you of understanding, that you may be successful. (5:100)

How would this answer something in your personal life? Do you go to school? Is there a ‘cool group’? Are they doing bad things? Are you being impressed by things that don’t impress Allah? Is there a group of good girls that you really don’t talk to cause they’re like ‘boring/uncool’? What do you think this verse is answering you about that?

You see what I mean?

I know it can be hard in the beginning! That’s why I’m also going to list a few other things you should check out:

Videos by Nouman Khan: 
Videos by Wisam Sharieff
Ramadan Tafsir Series
Taraweeh Truffles by Mohammed Al Shareef (oh and be sure to check out his Heartwheel Journal)

3. Some Pointers on Dhikr

When you are saying ‘IstagfirAllah” or asking Allah for His forgiveness, think about how Allah Subhanoo Wa’ Tala has made forgiveness so easy. Did you ever notice how in surat Al Baqarah, Prophet Moosa told his people that the way for them to do repentance was to actually kill themselves? Now, this was because they had seriously transgressed- worshipping a calf, after Allah had literally saved them and had given them soOoooOoooOoo many signs- but think about how all we have to do is ask Allah for His forgiveness.

Also, think about how Allah promised those who do istighfar, not only forgiveness, but things in this life that we all want:

He will send [rain from] the sky upon you in [continuing] showers (11) And give you increase in wealth and children and provide for you gardens and provide for you rivers. (12) (Surat Al Nuh)

In fact, we should all say ‘alhamdillah’ that Allah has given us the option to do ‘istaghfar’.

What about when you are saying “La Ilaha Illah Allah”- think about how you really want that to be the very last thing you say in your life.

When you’re saying “SubhanAllah wa bihamdehee, SubhanAllah Adheem”, think about how you are actually saying something that Allah LOVES. You are trying to please Him with what He loves……what do you think He’s going to give you in return?!


Also, just think about how you are growing your garden in Jannah when you do dhikr.  You’re getting your treasures ready!

4. About Taraweeh!

The best thing I can tell you is to again, understand what the Imam is reciting. Be sure to have read the translation of the juza earlier (if you can/don’t speak Arabic that well).

For example, let’s say the Imam is reciting a Surah that deals with the story of Moosa alyhee as salam and Pharaoh. Well, unlike Pharaoh who refused to bow down, you’re going to bow down.

You’re going to put your head all the way on the ground- in complete submission to your Creator.

I also would highly recommend this short e-book which will completely transform the way you ‘approach’ prayer, insahAllah. It’s called: Taste It!

Another thing- you said ‘tahajud’ inshaAllah. Why wait until the last 10 days to do tahaujd? Who said you’re going to live that long, right? You know, I actually had a neighbor pass away on the stairs around the 3rd day of Ramadan. He literally died. Can you believe that? (He wasn’t Musilm, by the way), but that’s the thing. We expect that we’re going to live till the last 10 days…and it’s this ‘expectation’ that prevents us from fulfilling our potential. Decide to wake up tonight! It could be even only half an hour before suhoor time. It will be just you and Allah- a meeting unlike any other, inshaAllah. And this time, when you say “Allahu Akbar”, or God is Greater, you’re going to really mean it, inshaAllah. He’s greater than your sleep- greater than anything!

5. Go out and Do Something For Others
- Give charity and sadaqah
- Volunteer at a soup kitchen or cook some meals yourself and pass them out! (Preferably to the homeless but if you don’t know where they are…)
- Clean up the masjid, yourself, so that when people come to pray taraweeh, it’s nice and clean. Maybe put some small water bottles there (cause if taraweeh is for a long time, people can get thirsty).


6. Listen to Islamic videos/lectures/etc.
These are supposed to be good

7. Avoid as much as possible any sins!


Well, sis, these are some small suggestions. I hope they help you a bit. I do want to clarify one tiny misconception, though which is that the small little devils are still here, even during Ramadan (I’m having a bad google day and can’t find the proof, but inshaAllah another sister will come along, hehe). But, you can do this! Allah subhanoo Wa Tala has given you this chance to earn jannah...


Hoping the rest of Ramadan is fantastic for you,



P.S. Don’t forget to make dua for the Ummah!

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Watch out for the Thorns!

>> Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Asalamu aliakum wa rahmat Allah wa barkatoo!

For a change! This time instead of the aunties answering a question, the aunties are asking you a question!

Why do we fast?


Is it to feel hungry? Is it to feel thirsty?

What did Allah says is the reason He ordained fasting?

I’m going to cheat you and put the answer:




Yes, that you may become from those who have piety or taqwa...

But what exactly does it mean to have taqwa?

On one occasion Umar ibn al-Khattāb asked another, Ubayy ibn Kab, who was one of the best amongst all of the companions to recite the Quran, he asked him: “Oh Ubayy, what is taqwa?”, He (Ubayy) answered: “Have you ever found yourself walking along a path on which there are thorns strewn?” Umar said: “Yes!”, so Ubayy ibn Kab said: “What do you do (in such a situation)?” Umar replied: “I raise my cloak, and then I tread very carefully.” Ubayy ibn Kab said: “THAT is taqwa.”



So when you are fasting, inshaAllah, this month, step very carefully. Leave the temptations of this world which are really ‘thorns’ in disguise. Leave all that Allah has forbidden and cling to what He has commanded us to do.

Let your fasts count!

And you know what your reward will be? Ibn Juzayy listed the following rewards for those who attain taqwa, citing verses from the Qur'an as proof:
§  
Guidance : "guidance for the muttaqeen' (2:2)
Help : "ِAnd know that Allah is with those who have taqwa":) 2:194)

Close friendship [with Allah] : "Allah is the close friend of the muttaqeen" (45:19)

Allah's Love :  "Truly Allah loves the muttaqeen  (3:76")

A way out from unhappiness, and provision from where one does not expect: "Whoever has taqwa of Allah He will make a way out for him and provide him from where he does not expect" 65:2-3)

Facilitation of affairs:  "Whoever has taqwa of Allah He will make ease for him in his affair"( 65: 4)

Full covering over of wrong actions and magnification of rewards  "Whoever has taqwa of Allah He will cover over his wrong actions and magnify a reward for him" (65:5)

Acceptance of actions/worship :"Allah only accepts from the people of taqwa (5:27")

Success: "Have taqwa of Allah in order that you might succeed";

Good news :"For them there is good news in this world and in the next";

Entrance into the Garden and forgiveness: "Truly, there are for the people of taqwa with their Lord Gardens of bliss" 68:34,   And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous (3:133)

Salvation from the Fire : "Then We will save the ones who had taqwa".

So let's make this Ramadan our best ever! And, let’s make this Ramadan a new beginning for us!


No more 'fearing' people, friends, relatives' reactions. No more worrying about 'fitting in', 'belonging'....No more excuses, no more disobeying Allah! No more fearing people and not fearing Allah. No more letting Allah's opinion of us count the least...

 It is only Shaytaan that suggests to you the fear to his friends and supporters, so fear them not, but fear Me, if you are, in truth, believers." (Surah Ali Imran 3:175) 


Let's do this. 


Lots of love,
All the aunties


P.S. We''d also like to take the time to say that for Ramadan, we will be 'on temporary break'. You can continue to send in your questions, but we may not answer them until after Ramadan is over.
P.S.S. Read here: http://www.bogvaerker.dk/Bookwright/Taqwa.html to know how to awaken taqwa and the degrees of taqwa there are



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Friend Fears

>> Monday, August 9, 2010





The friends I have aren't good. I've finally noticed they're
not good company for me, and when I'm with them I do the bad things they do. But
I have noone else, what do I do? Thanks.
Lonely Girl

Assalamu Alaykum LG,

Firstly, I'm really proud of you. It can be hard to recognise when your company isn't great and it's an even harder choice to want to take the step to change it. Seriously, hats off to you! I'm sorry that you feel lonely, it can be hard when you feel like this - all you want is the perfect friends who understand you, and everything can seem a lot harder when you feel like you haven't got someone by your side. But do not fear, have you thought of it this way; ALLAH is always there. The One who created everything you see, do and feel. The One who protects, sustains, forgives, loves! ALLAH, the MOST HIGH is with you. All the time. 24/7. Closer than the veins in your neck. Don't be scared, don't be sad, ALLAH is with you. Every step of your journey. Every obstacle you overcome, through the good, the bad and even the ugly...Allah cares for you. And He has made you realise you're company isn't great;


Acknowledging your shortcomings is one of the first steps in disciplining yourself. Whoever acknowledges that he has shortcomings has started on the path to self-discipline. It is a sign of Allaah’s care when a person tries to change himself and develop." [ Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid ]



See, Allah cares for you so that's why you don't need to fear but stay strong!

Righty, so you want to try making new friends. Think about the type of people you want to be friends with, and meet them there. Go down to your local mosque or community centre and take a look at the courses being offered. Join something, anything. You never know who you might meet. Go for it.
Have you heard of this one;

“Man models himself after his companion; so let each one of you see who he chooses for companion” (At-Tirmidhi).

If you want to be along the true path, among the righteous, comfortable with who you are - then your company must reflect this.


Okay, so practically speaking, how do you do this...

Well, apart from finding a course or club you can join to meet new people, be it cooking, sports, languages or even knitting! You can also simply be confident, or at least try.Think about something before you act. Think. Do I Actually Want This. For example, things like picking a table to sit at at lunch; instead of sitting with those who you know will obsess about their crushes and the 'hench' new actor on their favourite TV show, sit with some sisters who you know won't talk about that sort of stuff. Break away from your normal regime and do something different.

If that seems a little drastic and scary at the moment then, at first you could try to talk to your current friends, tell them how you think talking about pointless things isn't gonna help anyone and that life is too important to waste it doing nonsensical things. But don't be arrogant or snobby in the way you say it. You could try inviting them over to yours, you'll be hosting, and you can do things YOU want to do. Bake a cake, paint, tennis on the Wii - that way you can keep busy without having to fall into the talks and things you don't want to.

Have an open mind. Get to know other girls. It can be awkward sometimes when you want to start talking to someone, but you don't know what to say. Well, my advice to you, to first: Say Salaam. And mean it. Actually feel like you do want peace to be upon this person. Talk about the lesson you're in (if you're in school), with Ramadan just around the corner (literally!!), ask her how her fast has been. Once you get to know someone well enough, invite her over for an Iftar party, give her an Eid gift.


Another thing. It's simple. And it works. Smile. It breaks down any barriers and basically makes people know you're a friendly soul. Anyway, it's a charity, so why not eh?

Most importantly, stay strong. It can be such a tough time when you feel lonely, but this is the BEST time to remember Allah and to still remember all the blessings He has granted you.



'When the world pushes you down to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray'

'Patience through adversity is the most goodly [in the sight of Allah]'Al-Qur’an

12:18, 12:83
Be patient and pray to Allah for your current friends to be guided as well as you to make new friends.


Once again, I respect the fact that you are willing to change and I know you can do this. Stay strong, pray, don't ever forget that Allah is always with you - and smile. :)



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Feeling Ugly

>> Sunday, August 8, 2010



assalamu alaykum i have a question? if you could post an advice for me insha'Allah. since i have started wearing hijab, i noticed that im losing my feminity. i dont think myself attractive anymore. im always wearing frumpy clothes at home, i stopped wearing earrings. i dont know. when i come back home, i just feel lazy to make myself pretty again so i stay like that at home. if you have any advice thanks


Wa’alykum as salam, dearest Feeling UnFeminine,

You know, that’s a really good (tough, LOL) question. I know we can all have those ‘frump days’. Those days when we feel kinda blue and not exactly very glamorous or pretty. But you know what? The hijab was never meant to make us ‘lose our femininity’. It was meant to ‘guard’ and ‘treasure’ that femininity…

The problem with us is that we have associated ‘beauty’ with ‘people’s admiring attention’. We think ‘well, no one can really see me, anyways, so whatever. In reality, though, you see yourself, don’t you? You count! You have to ‘love yourself’ enough that you ‘dress up for yourself’.

Also, what about your family? I’m not sure if you are living with your family or not, but if you are, don’t they count? Think about all the times your parents used to dress you up when you were a little girl. Do you really want them to come home and find you all ‘sweatpants with an old p.j.’s shirt that you found buried in the bottom of your closet’? (Your parents might start to wonder why they buy you clothes anyway if you don’t dress up a bit. :P)

Besides, the Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam directed his companions upon returning from a journey:
 ‘You are returning to your brethren, dress nicely, and sort out your rides so that you may become a beauty mark among people, for Allah does not like sloppiness or acting in a sloppy way.’

Also, we all know that hadith about arrogance and the Companion who asked about ‘getting dressed up’? The Prophet sallah Allahoo alyheae wa salam answered in the hadith that Allah is beautiful and likes beauty.

And don’t forget this hadith:
Yahya related to me from Malik from Zayd ibn Aslam that Ata ibn Yasar told him that the Messenger of Allah was in the mosque when a man came in with dishevelled hair and beard. The Messenger of Allah motioned with his hand that he should be sent out to groom his hair and beard.

So what can you do that won’t take too much time and effort?


  • Get your hair done. If there are no salons that have only women hair dressers/private areas near you, ask your friends if any one does ‘cut hair’ or ‘dyes’ hair. This is something you only have to do once and probably won’t take too much time, but it can make all the difference (if they do a good job, LOL!). You can also get ‘henna’ done…that should make you feel feminine.
  • Make a distinction between p.j.s and home clothes.  If you can get your hands on them, one thing that are really nice to wear are jalabiyas; they’re ‘dresses’ and they’re also usually designed very femininely and nicely. Here are two examples (but these are somewhat fancy pancy, lol. I have 3 and they’re much simpler than these but still nice and very comfy.)
  

But if you can’t get your hands on them, you can also wear what you used to wear ‘outside’ pre-hijab inside! 


  • What about some ‘facials’? There are lots that take only like 5-10 minutes to make! Of course, you have to leave them on, usually for 20 minutes, though. But I mean you can do one like once every week or two weeks or something. Here’s a website with some that look pretty easy (but ignore the ‘skin lightening ones?). (I also had a friend tell me that whenever she’d cut a salad or something, and she had used things like cucumbers, etc., she’d take their peel and gently rub it on her face. She told me it left her feeling refreshed and her skin very soft.)

  • Buy yourself some nice shampoos, creams, maybe some pieces of jewelry. Try putting ribbons in your hair or even a flower. When it’s that time of the month, try putting on nail polish (but then I would suggest wearing gloves when you go outside, though…)

Now, here are some things you can do but that may take some time

  •  Invite some sisters over/organize a Ramadan potluck iftar or something. Being around your fellow sisters may not only boost up your imaan but also give you a chance to dress up. I’m sure all the sisters will have fun. If you’re still a teen, you guys can even have a ‘make-up’ day where you put make-up on each other!
  •  Get creative with your clothes at home. Make new outfits. Pair old things with new. If you’ve got any sewing talent, you can become your own fashion designer and cut and sew things together. If you’ve got an old long skirt, change it into a summery dress and so forth. 
  • Remember that Fridays are our ‘small Eids’ so make an effort to dress up on Friday. 



Well, sis, these are just some small suggestions. I know it might seem like a ‘hassle’ to try them, but I’m sure that if you do, when you catch your reflection in the mirror, seeing yourself looking so good will boost up your mood and be worth the trouble. I bet it will even have a difference in even the way you carry yourself with hijab, inshaAllah!

Oh, but before I leave you though, always remember though that you are beautiful and that ‘wearing hijab’ doesn’t detract from your beauty: 




Lots of love,

Read more...

Grey's Anatomy Addict





I know this might be a silly question but I need to ask it.

For the past year I've been getting more religious, I never miss my prayers, I fast on monday and thursdays, i wear hijab and abbaya, I recite the Quran everyday...but there's one problem. My sister who Mash'Alllah is more religious to me has told me it's not good to watch certain TV shows. Before I became religious I watched the show Grey's Anatomy-- have you heard of it? I love the show :( I stop watching in the middle of the past season, but I think I want to watch season 7...is certain TV shows or ALL TV shows, Haram????? Please help! I don't want to be committing any sins my watching TV.


Sincerely,
Grey's Addict



Dear Grey’s Addict,

MashaAllah! It’s great that you make sure to pray all your prayers, fast extra days, try to dress modestly, and make sure to read Quran everyday! May Allah keep you steadfast :D (and all of us, Ameen!)

But now, our little friend, let’s look at your question... It’s definitely not a silly question.

And you kinda already know the answer.

You know what Big Sis was telling you…you know what that that little voice [inside of you] was telling you….

Yeah, I’m going to tell you the very same thing. While some scholars are under the opinion that images are not acceptable and therefore, television not halal, a majority of scholars tend to say  that it’s not that you can’t watch TV, but what you watch on TV. There are a lot of good shows you can watch- Islamic shows, National Geographic kind of shows, educational shows, documentaries, etc which are perfectly fine to watch. Grey’s Anatomy doesn’t cut it though.

Let me ask you a few questions…. Would you watch this television show with Daddyo sitting down with you? Maybe he’s a relaxed sort of guy and you would, but would you watch this show with the imam of the mosque next to you? Or how about with Prophet Mohammed (sala Allahoo alayhee wa salam) sitting on the couch beside you?

I’m going to tell you the truth. I’ve heard of Grey’s Anatomy but I’ve never watched it. And I couldn’t exactly tell you whether you could/ couldn’t watch something without doing some good research. So I went to my main man…Mr. Google.

And I came upon this lovely site: Wait, don’t click…. I already copied the important stuff. (LOL!)

Messages:
Characters hook up for sexual affairs, cheat on partners, and so on. Some patients' issues delve into sticky topics like drugs and sexism. Diversity among the cast.

Sex:
The show is very focused on the characters' relationships, most of which are sexual in nature. There's plenty of bed-hopping. Some same-sex pairings. While the characters kiss, embrace, and have implied sex, no sensitive body parts are shown.

Don’t worry, girlie, I know you’re not watching it to see those kinda scenes. And I know the show’s storylines are very addictive….seeing the characters every week, it’s easy to feel like you’re part of the family and you want to know what’s going to happen.

That’s why it’s time I tell you the poo poo story.
Also known as the poop story.

No, this is not a bedtime story told to me by grandma.


This is a story that I read once on a website- only the website doesn’t open anymore and I kinda added my own little touch. It’s the story of three tweens who wanted their dad’s permission to watch the latest movie at the cinema. They kept begging their dad to let them go but he just wouldn’t agree. They told him that all of their friends had gone. Sure, it was PG, they admitted, but they weren’t kids and they couldn’t keep watching G movies all their lives. Anyway, they reasoned, there was only subtle sexual hints (no actual scene), a few tinsy winsy vulgur words (but nothing “really bad”), and only one woman didn’t dress that well (but it was a beach scene and it only lasted for like three minutes literally)

Papa said nothing and just calmly walked into the kitchen. The kids didn’t want to say anything. They thought he was going to think about it and thinking that was better than a flat out rejection, they left him alone.

A little later (to be read with a funny accent), Papa knocked on the door with fudge brownies. It smelled like no fudge brownies have ever smelled before. Fudgy and chocolaty and just plain perfect….Ahmed was about to grab a piece and wolf it down when Papa said “I added a little something….a little dog poop.”

That’s when Ahmed dropped the piece. He looked at his dad and Papa explained “When I was making the brownies, I made sure to check the production date of the package, to use the best eggs, and to use our most expensive oil… When I was about to finish, I added a bit of dog poop. Just a tiny tiny tiny amount.”


I think it’s pretty obvious now what we’re talking about here, right? A little bad thing can make something good rotten…

And here we come to the gist of the matter-

If you as a Muslim cannot do the things that you’re watching on t.v, even if it seems ‘like it’s something small’, then, watching shows that have people doing them is also wrong.

The Islamic proof for that? The very famous hadith where the Prophet (sallah Allahoo alayhee wa salam) ordered us to change anything bad we see:


On the authority of Abu Sa`id (Radiya Allah Anhoo) that the Prophet (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said, “Whoever sees something evil should change it with his hand. If he cannot, then with his tongue; and if he cannot do even that, then in his heart. That is the weakest degree of faith.” (Muslim)

Ask yourself a question (I think I asked you enough questions, already, so it’s your turn, hehe)- when you watch a show like “Grey’s Anatomy”, are you really changing it?

What about this verse:


“Verily, the hearing, and the sight, and the heart, of each of those you will be questioned (by Allaah).” [al-Israa’ 17:36]
Do you, sweetheart, remember what happened in the 3rd episode of the 5th season? Can you tell me every single thing that was said/done, if you watched that episode?
Can you remember all that? Now, I chose a random number which maybe you do actually remember, lol, but the point is, do you remember every single episode you watched?

Because as this verse explains, you are going to be held accountable for all that you watched and heard…all!

Do you really want to stand in front of Allah and have Him ask you why you were watching a woman/man ‘pursue adultery’, something that Islamically would deserve a very strict punishment and that upsets Allah?

The other thing you should keep in mind is that:

“….The eye commits zinaa [fornication] and its zinaa is looking. The tongue commits zinaa and its zinaa is speaking; the feet commit zinaa and their zinaa is walking; the hands commit zinaa and their zinaa is touching. The heart longs and desires for something and the private parts confirm that or deny it.” [Saheeh Bukhari 6343]
You see how serious that is?!

Finally, one last verse: Say: the things that my Lord hath indeed forbidden are: shameful deeds, whether open or secret…(7:33)

Aren’t many of the things on the show ‘shameful’?

So is that? Are we going to leave you with that? Of course not! Here are few tips though to make sure you don’t end up succumbing to temptation and watching Grey’s Anatomy again ...


  • Since your wonderful big sister told you that you shouldn’t watch it, tell her that you are officially quitting again and recruit her as your ‘No Watching Grey’s Anatomy Officer’.



  • Schedule an activity at the time that it’s aired. I know that it probably comes on late at night, so you most likely cannot ‘go out’, but be sure to be away from the television. (For our other readers who haven’t tried ‘quitting watching it or some other show before’, you can do the same thing. )



  • If you have a t.v. in your own private room, it’s moving day for it :P You want to watch TV in front of everyone so that you don’t get tempted to watch anything a little inappropriate.)



  • Try watching more Islamic shows if possible- you can even substitute the time you used to watch it with an Islamic show. If you don’t have Islamic t.v. channels, check out: http://www.islamchannel.tv/ Or http://www.huda.tv/ .




  • Try ‘closing your eyes’ for 15 minutes or turning off all the lights in the house and sitting in total darkness for a little bit. Now think about the blessing of eye sight. Ask yourself, does it really show true gratitude to Allah to ‘watch’ a show that contains things he has prohibited? Does that show that you are thankful for your eyes?


  • Paste a small little paper next to where the t.v. is or on top of it that says something like: “Allah is with Me. Allah sees all that I do.”



  • If you are a fan on facebook or something like that, become an ‘unfan’. If you and your best friend used to watch it and talk about it together, let her know that you’ve quit and that you really don’t want her to tell you updates or anything that will ‘hook’ you again. (While you’re at it, try and explain why you quit so she does, too.)



  • Since you already ‘fast’ Monday and Thursday, this one is for our other readers who haven’t quit before…try fasting more (hey, Ramadan is coming anyways!). Fasting teaches you discipline and most of us have it engrained in us that when we’re fasting, we don’t ‘watch’ anything ‘bad’


  • Make sincere dua to Allah to help you. Remember this:


    • "Some faces that Day (the Day of Judgment) shall beam (in brightness and beauty). Looking at their Lord (Allah - SWT)"(Al-Qiyamah - 22-23).

      “When the inhabitants of Jannah enter Jannah, Allah will ask them all, ‘Is there anything more that I can give you?’ They will say, ‘Have you not illuminated our faces? Have you not entered us into Jannah? Have you not saved us from Hellfire?’

      “Then Allah will uncover the veil (and all shall see Allah). After that moment there would be nothing more beloved to them than seeing their Lord" (Bukhari and Muslim).

      Yes, on the Day of Judgment and in Jannah, inshaAllah, the believers will see Allah!!

      The way I see it is this: The eyes that long to see Allah, should not fall on anything that would displease Him. The ears that want to hear Him say “Salaam” should not listen to anything that would anger Him.

      InshaAllah, inshaAllah, if you do all that, it'll be easier to overcome your addiction and you will be among those who see Allah!

      Oh, and remember, The Prophet sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam told his close companion: “By Allah! Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allah, Allah will replace it with something better than it!”

      When you give it up....you're going to get something really great, inshaAllah. Yallah, you can do this. We believe in you!

      Read more...

      Salah Struggles

      >> Thursday, August 5, 2010




      I know that salah is important but lately I just can't get myself to pray, especially fajr. I feel so down. What can I do?

      Wish I Could Pray Again,


      Salaam Wish I Could Pray Again,

      Well first off, well done for knowing that salah is important, you've taken the first step and you WANT to pray, that's important so mashaAllah.

      I'm sorry that you feel down at the moment, you know there can be lots of reasons to this. I've been there, the stress of school and grades, teachers who won't get off your back, friends who just don't understand, the backbiters, gossipers, bullies and plain nasty people, even family who won't give you a break and all you want to do is have fun! You can just want to lie in bed all day but you can't let these things dictate whether or not you should pray. The way I see it, darling, is that if I'm down about something, I really shouldn't ignore the One who can actually fix my problems, right? Shouldn't I rush to Him. Wouldn't it make more sense if I'm feeling down to go and talk to Him, ask Him to help me and give me what's best for me?

      Let's use our imaginations, hehe, and pretend you had a ginormously huuuuuge problem and the only person who could fix it happened to be the President or leader of your country. Now do you think you'd have easy access to them, to see them directly...? You'd have to break into some official building and do a dozen illegal things like they do in the movies! Now imagine this: all you have to do is make Wudu, face the Qibla, and raise your hands and say 'Allahu Akhbar'. And ALLAH, the LORD who has all Power promises to answer your call. In fact, He doesn't just answer it. He rushes to answer it:

      “…And if he comes to Me walking, I [Allah] go to him at speed.”


      Can you imagine the Lord of the Lords running to you? Because you have called on Him? Remember, though, He does it in a way that befits His masjesty.

      Not only that, but Allah promises that He is at your disposal, that He is right there with you, closer than the veins in your neck, answering your every sentence, question, dua.

      Now, see, do you reeeeally know what's happening when you are reciting Surat Al Fatiha:

      On the authority of Abu Hurariya, Radiya Allah Anhoo: the Prophet Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam reported that Allha has said:


      …Allah (mighty and sublime be He), had said: I have divided prayer between Myself and My servant into two halves, and My servant shall have what he has asked for.


      When the servant says: Al-hamdu lillahi rabbi l-alamin (3), Allah (mighty and sublime be He) says: My servant has praised Me.


      And when he says: Ar-rahmani r-rahim (4), Allah (mighty and sublime be He) says: My servant has extolled Me,


      and when he says: Maliki yawmi d-din (5), Allah says: My servant has glorified Me - and on one occasion He said: My servant has submitted to My power.


      And when he says: Iyyaka na budu wa iyyaka nasta in (6), He says: This is between Me and My servant, and My servant shall have what he has asked for.


      And when he says: Ihdina s-sirata l- mustaqim, siratal ladhina an amta alayhim ghayril-maghdubi alayhim wa la d-dallin (7), He says: This is for My servant, and My servant shall have what he has asked for.
      It was related by Muslim (also by Malik, at-Tirmidhi, Abu-Dawud, an-Nasa'i and Ibn Majah).


      The prayer is not a one person act. It's a partnership that is completed by the Most Loving [Al Wadud] answering your every call.

      One reason many of us don't feel like praying is because we don't actually understand who we're praying to. We know prayer is important but we don't understand who Allah is. My advice for you then is read a little about Allah. What does it mean that He's As-Shakur, or The Ever Appreciative? How much more would He appreciate your prayer to Him? Did you see the last question that was asked on this blog? We mentioned the famous hadith about the man who had killed 99 persons, right.

      We said that according to one version, Allah commanded the righteous town to draw closer and the evil town to move away, and He said, ’Measure the distance between them,’ and he was found to be closer to (the righteous town) by a hand span, so he was forgiven.

      Allah rewarded this man so much just because of one thing. His sincere intention and for the man's desire to turn to Allah. Allah MOVED THE EARTH for him, and granted him Jannah.

      THAT's how appreciative He is! Now just imagine if you actually pray to him - 5 times a day?

      Allah is also Al Wadud [the Loving] - what does that mean? Do we really understand it? Who wouldn't want to talk to the Loving One? What does it mean that He chose to make one good deed equal to 10 [hasanat] and one bad deed equal to one?

      Hun, when it's said that Allah is the Most Merciful, what does really mean? We don't understand that mercy. Because we have been saved from so many things we don't even know ourselves. Think about the most forgiving person you know, who will forgive you for literally everything. Maybe your best friend, maybe your mother. Well multiply that by a million, trillion, gazillion! Think of the MOST merciful. That is Allah. And that is why praying your Salah is so UBER important!

      Think about it, taking ten minutes for each prayer max, so that's fifty minutes a day. Let's make it a nice number and round it up to sixty. So one hour out of the twenty-four you have in a day is what Allah has asked you to remember Him with. You might say you're too busy, well I'm sure that hour you might spend on Facebook chatting about the new kid at school can be spent somewhat differently? Or the hour you might spend watching 'Friends' re-runs after school can be used in a way which will actually benefit everything you and your loved ones do.

      Your life should revolve around ISLAM, not the other way around. If you find it hard to get home in time from school to pray Dhuhr, then pray at school. Find a quiet spot, ask a friendly teacher to use their classroom during lunch. If you forget the timings, then do what I do; write them on your hand in the morning. It's not preferable and it can rub off, but it gives you an idea during the day of what times you should wait for to pray. Another way which could help you complete your prayers is to simply stay in a state of Wudu. If you break it [whoops!] just make wudu again, straight away. Make Wudu everytime you use the bathroom. That way, when you see that it's time to pray you'll be fresh and squeaky clean to pray.

      You say you find it hard to get up for Fajr? Well yeah, me too!

      I know the main difficulty is getting up when your mind and body doesn't want to know anything except your bed. Some practical things you can do for “Fighting Fajr Fatigue” is to simply get to bed earlier and before you close your eyes, make a true intention in your heart: 'I'm going to get up for Fajr!' Also, ask Allah to wake you up and pray! Then you can drop off.


      Another thing you can do is to set two alarms. One for a minute before you should get up and the other for the normal time. That way, if you're dropping off after you've put your first alarm on snooze (I've done it too!) then the second one will wake you up before you get a chance to shut those tired eyes.

      Or, another thing you can do is place your alarm clock or your phone, whatever you use at the other side of your room before you go to sleep the night before. That way, you'll HAVE to get up to turn off the racket. And once you're up - the hard bit is over.

      OR, if you've got a friend who's willing to help, who you know is quite successful in getting up for Fajr, ask her to drop you a text, she can be your official 'waker'. You might listen to a friend more than an alarm….

      Okay, so you're out of bed; woo, celebrations! You've just got to zombie-walk to the bathroom and the main battle has been won, hurrah!

      Once you've splashed water on your face and up your nose etc - you should be pretty much awake. At that point, you should simply concentrate on your prayer. It's a direct connection with your Lord, the Creator, the Sustainer, the One God. When you pray, make sure you know what you're saying. If you don't know Arabic, google the translation and look at it every now and then to remind yourself. If you pray with true sincerity from your heart you'll never regret it, even if you did lose your sleep because of it! When you learn to appreciate your prayers, you'll end them with a smile in your soul.

      You may not notice it, but praying 5 times a day purifies us a lot! The simple principle of REMEMBERING ALLAH washes away our sins and only makes Allah pleased.

      The Prophet (pbuh) said: 'How clean would a person be who bathes in a river five times a day, so too does the Salah performed five times cleanse someone of their sins?'


      The purity you feel from your heart after Salah beats anything else. It's a truly pure type of purity, if you get me?

      Your prayers are what will save you from anything in this world - and the next. Grasp this opportunity with both hands sis, 'cause only good will come out of it.
      I know you can do this, you're smart enough to know that prayer is important, and you're willing to change. I respect that so much and I pray that Allah will show you the straight path and bring relief to your adversities.

      The Prophet (PBUH) said: "The agreement that is between us and them is the prayer..."

      ...meaning Allah is asking you to pray. After all the millions and gazillions of blessings He has showered you with, He wants you to pray to Him. And only good will come out of it - let's learn off Nike and 'JUST DO IT'!

      Take every day as it comes and try your hardest every day to complete your salah for just that day. Don't worry about tomorrow. Do all you can for today. When tomorrow comes, do the same. It will only get easier as you get in the habit.
      I believe you can do this. So grab your headscarf and prayermat and wait for the wonders you will receive from PRAYER.
      You can do it hun. So smile. :)


      Please do check out this extremely extremely amazing link , too: How to Taste Salah!!!

      Read more...

      It's Not Too Late!

      >> Monday, August 2, 2010





      I wasn’t really born into a religious family. I met a nice friend, though, and recently I’ve started getting more and more interested in Islam. A friend told me about this blog and from what I’ve seen you guys aren’t judgmental. The thing is I’ve done so many wrong things…things I can’t even name. I’m so ashamed of myself. Sometimes I think it’s too late. My question is this: Can Allah really forgive me?

      Ashamed


      Dear my little friend Muneeba (I’m going to call you that because it means to ‘return to Allah’!)

      Awww, I’m so glad that you have started to become more interested in Islam. That’s wonderful news! Alhamdillah. Remember, if you take one step to Allah, He draws near to you a fathom’s length!

      Now about having committed sins…Can Allah forgive you? Can he, EVER! Of course, He can! He is the Forgiver, the One who accepts Repentance, the One who Blots our Sins…

      In fact, no matter what sins you committed, I can pretty much bet you that you did not kill 50 people, right? What about 70? What about 99? What about 100? I mean we are talking literally murder 100 people…

      I doubt very much that you, Muneeba, are a serial killer. And yet, look at how Allah is still able to forgive them if they truly repent.



      Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Prophet of Allah (sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) said: "There was a man from among a nation before you who killed ninety-nine people and then made an inquiry about the most learned person on the earth. He was directed to a monk.

      He came to him and told him that he had killed ninety-nine people and asked him if there was any chance for his repentance to be accepted. He replied in the negative and the man killed him, also completing one hundred. He then asked about the most learned man in the earth. He was directed to a scholar. He told him that he had killed one hundred people and asked him if there was any chance for his repentance to be accepted. He replied in the affirmative and asked, `Who stands between you and repentance? Go to such and such land; there (you will find) people devoted to prayer and worship of Allah, join them in worship, and do not come back to your land because it is an evil place.' So he went away and hardly had he covered half the distance when death overtook him; and there was a dispute between the angels of mercy and the angels of torment. The angels of mercy pleaded, 'This man has come with a repenting heart to Allah,' and the angels of punishment argued, 'He never did a virtuous deed in his life.' Then there appeared another angel in the form of a human being and the contending angels agreed to make him arbiter between them. He said, `Measure the distance between the two lands. He will be considered belonging to the land to which he is nearer.' They measured and found him closer to the land (land of piety) where he intended to go, and so the angels of mercy collected his soul".

      [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].


      But you know what? In another version it actually read that "Allah commanded (the land which the man wanted to leave) to move away and commanded the other land (his destination) to draw nearer and then He said: "Now measure the distance between them.' It was found that he was nearer to his goal by a hand's span and was thus forgiven.”

      Allah Subhanoo Wa’ Tala forgave that ‘murderer’. He granted him paradise. He moved the earth for his servant who showed sincere regret and an honest longing to return to Allah; obviously, then, if you do that too (if you show sincere regret and honest longing), He would do the same for you.

      You see, the truth is, committing ‘sins’ doesn’t make you ‘unforgiveable’. Not at all. It only makes you human. Allah never told us to be ‘perfect’. He told us to try our best and return to Him whenever we made a mistake.

      In a hadith qusdi, Allah says:


      "O son of Adam, as long as you call upon Me and put your hope in Me, I have forgiven you for what you have done and I do not mind. O son of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky and then you would seek My forgiveness, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, if you were to come to Me with sins that are close to filling the earth and then you would meet Me without ascribing any partners with Me, I would certainly bring to you forgiveness close to filling it."


      The Messenger of Allah(Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam was even reported to have said, "By the One in Whose Hand my soul is! If you do not commit sins, Allah would replace you with a people who would commit sins and seek forgiveness from Allah; and Allah will certainly forgive them ..''

      And you know what else he said? He said that Allah is sooooo happy when we repent! He said:


      “Indeed, Allah is more happy with the repentance of His slave than a man who stops in a barren, desolate land; with him he has his riding animal. He then goes to sleep. When he wakes up, [he realizes that] his mount is gone. He searches for it until he is on the verge of dying. He then says, ‘I will return to the place wherein I lost it, and I will die there.’ He went to that place, and he was then overcome by sleep. When he woke up, his mount was [standing] right beside his head: on it was his food, his drink, his provisions, and the things he neded. Allah is more happy with the repentance of his believing slave than the aforementioned man when he finds his mount and his provisions.”

      [al-Bukhaari: 6308 ; Muslim: 2744]



      So what do you do now?

      • Have strong faith in Allah’s Mercy and forgiveness
      Imam As Shafee’ on his death bed said:
      • 'My sins seemed very great to me but when I compared them to Your forgiveness,
        I found Your forgiveness to be far greater
        ",
        Repent: Stop doing the sin, feel regret, and resolve never to go back to it again.
      • Do some extra good deeds! Allah is looking for you to do a good deed- to show mercy to others… He is looking for any any excuse at all to grant you paradise. You know, we all know the hadith that says a good deed is rewarded 10 X- but if you read the actual words, it can be rewarded 700 X! It all depends on your sincerity, etc.
      • Try to find some “good” friends to support you. You might want to go check out the local mosque on Friday and get to know some other sisters. If your community isn’t that active, you can join an Islamic forum for sisters.
      • Obviously, make sure you stay away from not so good friends. If your iman isn’t that strong yet, peer pressure can really get you down.
      • Do more dhikr and keep making istighfaar.
      • Keep making dua that Allah forgives you and keeps you steadfast on His Path.
      What about if you stepped on other people’s rights? Remember, Allah forgives what’s between you and Him but what involves others, you need to make up for it.

      - If you talked about somebody behind their back (and we’ve all done that), you should try to apologize. You don’t need to go up to the person and say “Could you forgive me? I called you a jealous loser who has no friends and whose own mother can’t stand. I hope you don’t mind”. You don’t need to be auntie to know that’s not going to solve the problem! Instead, you could have a gathering with a bunch of your friends and you could say something like “Guys, I haven’t always been such a good friend. I’m really sorry for anything I might have said or done. I hope you guys can forgive me”. If you can’t meet all your friends, you could send a sincere forward or just make it your Facebook status.

      - If you took something that didn’t belong to you, you really need to try to return it. Again, you don’t have to go straight to the person and say “Hey, dude, remember how you were looking for your 100 dollar bill and couldn’t find it? This is funny- it’s cause I stole it. Haha.” Yeah, that’s not going to work. Instead, try to be creative. For instance, if you took money, leave an anonymous envelope with cash on their doorstop. If you can’t return whatever it is you took (because the person moved away or something), then you can donate its value in money to the poor and make your niyah for that person to get the ajr.

      If you do all this, inshaAllah, (and I know you can!), you’ll find on the Day of Judgment a great many ‘good deeds’ in your records that you don’t remember doing….You know why?

      Because Allah would have changed your bad deeds to good!

      Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work. For them Allah will
      replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.
      [Surat Al Fuqran, 70]
      Yallah, go for it! Run to Allah’s Mercy and Forgiveness and let’s race to Paradise,




      P.S.

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